MARRIAGE SERIES: APPRECIATION IN MARRIAGE by Nkeiru Uchendu Mokwe

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This is an area we all seem to fail in our marriages. Most times, parties in a marriage union take each other for granted which should not be. Spouses are expected to appreciate each other particularly when special favours are done. But I personally advocate that spouses should appreciate each other always for no other reason but for just being the one they chose out of a million out there.

I once attended a wedding ceremony and to my amazement the groom in his vote of thanks specially thanked the bride for accepting his marriage proposal. I was greatly touched by this act unlike some who will treat and speak to you as if they are doing you a favour. Honestly no one is doing anyone a favour by marrying him or her. If you don’t marry him or her somebody else will, trust me it’s the truth. So we should better appreciate our spouses.

Appreciation brings out virtues in every one. For example praise a child about something he or she attempted to do well and see that child doubling his or her effort in order to be praised more. That is human nature, we cannot change it. When you are an expert at running your spouse down just to jump around other peoples spouses your are doing your self a great disfavour.

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Appreciation works magic in binding parties to a marriage as one. It’s natural for one to want to stay with someone who values one. There is a saying that you should not make some one who does not value you a priority in your life. When your spouse knows you appreciates him or her it convinces that spouse of your love for him or her and thereby strengthens the bond in your union. Which is of great importance to the success of such union.

Lack of appreciation in marriage has led to destruction of so many unions. Some people are simply impossible, with them you can never get it right. No matter the effort you put in, they will never recognised it. They are always fast to pick up your faults while ignoring your strength. They will never encourage you or see any good in the things you do. They are simply fastidious. For such people there should be a rethink.

Falling in love is easy but staying in love is very special and task full. And you can not stay in love without constantly appreciating each other. This you can demonstrate by showing appreciation over the least of things. Do you know as a man you can spice your union with just a word of appreciation; For instance praising your wife whenever she serves you food? Yes there are husbands faced with the challenge of never enjoying a good meal at home even though the provide for their families. This can be because the wife is incapacitated health wise or do not know how to cook well. So you that has this benefit why not appreciate her. Woman do you know that there are women who do not have the privilege of receiving up keeps from their husbands may be because the man has no job so can not provide for his family or out of shear wickedness chooses not to provide for his family? So you that has a husband who can provide why can’t you appreciate him? No matter how little a thing done by your spouse just appreciate it, it will encourage him or her to do more.

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Lack of appreciation breeds the following and even more in a marriages union.
1. It destroys the fabric of the union even without the parties realising it. For instance a party in an unappreciative union will see no reason to go the extra mile to do anything. He or she might reason that it will make no difference to do so.
2. It is offensive to all. Christ himself condemned it. That was why when he healed the ten lepers and only one returned to give him thanks, he asked of the other nine.
3. It sends the wrong signal to our children who learn from what they see us do than what the hear us say. Therefore it should be avoided so that our children do not learn the wrong things from us.
4. It demotivates spouses from doing better.
5. It silently destroys the marriage union. When this is the modus of any union, over time parties will cease to be interested in each other.
Spouse are therefore encouraged to make conscious efforts to appreciate each other to ensure that their marriages succeed. The society at large is better off with the success of your marriage than it’s failure.

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