MARRIAGE SERIES: SECRET PAINS IN OUR MARRIAGES by Nkeiru Uchendu Mokwe

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Topic 4

I’m led to write on this based on my encounter with some married women in the last few weeks. I’m agitated, wondering what will make a woman who has been married for over 35years still desire to leave her marriage? This is serious, and it’s the experience of many women this days. For so many their marriages offers them no joy, it’s best said they are enduring not enjoying their marriages. Many hang in there to ensure their children school fees and up keeps are paid by their husbands since they are not financially capable to foot the bills, and are afraid to leave with the children so that the man will not turn his back on them. From what I have observed lately given a level playing ground 70% of women will opt out of their marriages. The most painful part of it all is that, the men causing them these pains are oblivious of the situation. They believe all is well in their union or would I say they choose not to care? God’s will for marriage is that it be ENJOYED not endured.

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Generally Speaking, it doesn’t take much to make a woman happy except for a few minority. So why won’t our men add a little more effort to make their homes happy. It’s a sacrifice worth doing if not for any other reason to raise balanced children who will be leaders of tomorrow. The consequences of our actions on people around us should not be undermined in anyway. So many men are in a world of their own that they do not realise the owe a duty of care to their spouses. I know some women are guilty of this too, but women are the most hit because we live in a society where women are grossly looked down on. I have observed that most men do not take time to find out what makes their wives happy. Worst still even when the woman is crying out loud they still pay no attention to them just because they are women and are expected to endure whatever they see in their marriages. This is a very bad attitude that should be condemned. A man brought a complaint to me that he told his wife not to have friends but she disobeyed him, hence their home is on fire. Why would he place such condition on her? Is she not a social being like him? Why would he want to lock her out of the whole world? We all know it won’t work, not even with a moron therefore there are bound to be problems in such marriage. All he should have done was to advise her to exercise caution in her choice of friends.

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The rate at which women are wailing in their homes today calls for urgent action to salvage the situation because these women are the custodians of our children. Children brought up by unhappy mothers are more of unhappy children. They see life from a gloomy point and end up not being their best in anything they do. Our men should double their efforts to make their homes happy. It’s not enough to provide for your family financially, their emotional needs lies on you solely. Remember if help is sought else where it’s disaster. Make conscious efforts to leave legacies and memories that will endure so that your exit will be felt by those that matters most. Life is too short, be happy and create happiness around you.